Yes, I have Bipolar Disorder, but…

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Yes, I have Bipolar Disorder, but it doesn’t have me. It doesn’t have me because now I can control it. Your probably asking yourself, “how can you control Bipolar Disorder?” I can tell it is not an easy thing to do especially if you are a woman. Hormones are one of the major factors for chemical imbalance and us women have a lot of hormones to deal with.

Our female hormones are always constantly changing…going up or down in each cycle. Each hormone has side effects and they can be trigger episode. Some days you are happy and loving life and some days you are irritable and don’t want to see or talk to anyone. You just want to be left alone.

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For so many years I never truly understood how much my hormones are impacting my mental health and my body till I tried to conceive. My doctor had to change my medications beside on what is safe during pregnancy and that means being off some mood stabilizer. Unfortunately, I had miscarriage and that drove me to the edge. I began to question a lot of things about my health and body. Finally I learned that my body produces a lot of the hormone Estrogen which played a major role in my mental state. Not only that, the high Estrogen level triggers my Endometriosis flare-up and that flare-up cause a lot of inflammation in my body that it effected my reproductive system. It sucks! Not enough mood changes but also cycle pains.

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However, I still didn’t give up hope till I had third miscarriages. I decided it’s time for me to learn more about my hormones and my side effects. Through observing my symptoms and tracking my cycles to try to conceive. I noticed that my behaviors and emotions change with certain times of the cycle. Slowly, I started to become more responsible for my emotions and mental state. I had to keep reminding myself that this just hormones and that I can change the way I feel and think to control my moods. I had to do the opposite of my negative emotions.

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Yes, I have bipolar disorder but it doesn’t have me. I will continue to educate myself and push myself to become better version of myself. Being a woman with Bipolar disorder is not easy, but it is not impossible to take control of it.

Please note: I have not stopped taking medications for my bipolar disorder at all. The medications are altered for safe pregnancy. I would never suggest for anyone to stop taking any medications without consulting your doctor. Medications are 50% of your mental health treatment, so it’s important to keep up with your medications and therapy.

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